Monday, June 28, 2010

The heaviest of hearts

I feel like such a failure. Alex and I have known for a while now that C1 exhibited all of the classic symptoms of ADHD...why we didn't act on it faster, I will never know...but I do know that I feel like such a failure because we didn't. I feel like we failed to do what is best for our son and because of that, made things harder for everyone.

Our day to day diet around here is pretty healthy. Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, hardly any processed foods, not much sugar, etc. etc. etc. but I knew as I read page after page of information over the weekend that I still wasn't doing enough for my special boy. I also had to remove dairy, artificial coloring and any and all overly processed carbohydrates. For us, medication is a last that we will both embrace if we have to, but would like to do anything in our power to avoid it. It won't be easy to check the labels of every single thing that goes into my son's mouth, or to deny him things when he wants them, but I know that things that matter are seldom easy.

In addition to a diet change, I'm also implementing more schedule oriented things into our daily routine and allowing more flexibility in our homeschool. I am so blessed to be able to homeschool him. It is a challenge at times, but I know that it is what is best for him. I gave him a daily checklist today - with every detail included - he seems to like knowing what is coming up next and being able to mentally prepare for it ahead of time. He also loves to check things off as they get finished. We've removed most of the toys from his bedroom. I think the chaos was making him chaotic. He is a different child when a single toy is placed in front of him and he has a goal in mind for that toy. His attention to detail and creativity really shine.

Diving in headfirst like this and doing everything that I can to help him is the only thing I know how to do...but it still doesn't keep me from feeling like I've failed him. This is something that cannot be disciplined away, it needs to be embraced and responded to with love and gentle guidance.

No comments:

Post a Comment