This house. I swear it would come crashing down in seconds if either Alex or I turned our heads for just a minute. The things that these kids think up just astounds me. Remember the old saying, your parents' greatest revenge is you having kids....so.true.
Just a few seconds ago, I found C2 wedging silverware that he had pilfered from the dishwasher (who the hell taught him to open that, anyhow?!) into the stem of the ficus tree and then scooping out the faux foliage around the base with a wooden spoon.
The list of house rules that I've had to start assembling just keeps getting longer and more outrageous. Boys are so gross and kid boys are even worse!
Want a little window into my reality?
Here are a few of the latest, most relevant house rules:
1. No peeing on your brother.
seems self explanatory, no?
No peeing on your brother even if he peed on you first.
Ay. Have I mentioned that C1 is like, the best reasoner ever?He will totally follow in Alex's footsteps as a lawyer. I effin' hate it.
2. You can only touch your own wiener.
Why on earth....
3. Lotion does not belong on your wiener.
Well....until you're at least 10.
4. OR BUTTHOLE!
Come on kids, work with me here.
5. Your brother's diaper is not a toy receptacle.
...words don't even begin to explain the odd things I've found in his diaper.
Also, I learned recently that age 4 must be the universal boy stink age. We used to be able to get away with missing a bath every now and then. Now? I'm tempted to give him multiple baths per day.
They are so freakin' lucky they are cute.